https://www.mentalhealthissexy.org/blog daily 0.75 2026-07-11 https://www.mentalhealthissexy.org/blog/rumination-vs-problem-solving monthly 0.5 2026-08-04 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/f8e10590-afd6-45d5-9771-2c54d9764971/rumination+vs.+problem+solving BLOG - Rumination vs. Problem Solving: How to Tell the Difference - Make it stand out Why This Distinction Matters So Much Because the treatment is completely different. If it's a real problem, you problem-solve it. Make the decision, take the step, done. But if it's rumination, more thinking is not the answer. More thinking is the compulsion. Rumination functions like a mental compulsion: engaging with the thought gives you a brief hit of relief or a feeling of productivity, which teaches your brain the thought was important and serves it up again. I wrote a whole post on how to stop ruminating using response prevention, but the short version is this: you treat the urge to ruminate the way you'd treat any compulsion. You notice it, you name it, and you don't perform it. One of my favorite scripts to hand clients: "I don't know the answer, rumination is not problem solving, I'm choosing to not figure this out." Saying that and meaning it is a skill. It feels wrong at first, like you're being irresponsible. You're not. You're refusing to do fake work. A Note on the Gray Area Sometimes a real problem and a rumination loop share the same topic. Your finances might genuinely need attention AND be the subject of a 2am spiral. Here's how I handle that with clients: schedule the problem solving. Literally put it on the calendar. "Saturday, 10am, 30 minutes, look at the budget and pick one action." Then any thinking about it outside that window gets labeled as rumination and dropped. If your brain protests that this is urgent and can't wait until Saturday, that protest is usually the anxiety talking, not the problem. If You Want to Go Deeper My workbook This Isn't a Spiral walks you through mapping your own rumination patterns and building the drop-the-rope skill step by step. It's the framework I use with clients, in a self-paced format. Your brain is going to keep offering you fake work. You get to decline. FAQ Is rumination the same as overthinking? Mostly, yes. Overthinking is the casual term, rumination is the clinical one. Both describe repetitive thinking that circles without producing action. The key feature is the loop, not the topic. Can rumination ever be productive? The honest answer is no, and that's actually what defines it. The moment repetitive thinking produces a decision or an action, it was problem solving. If it circles without an endpoint, it's rumination, no matter how productive it feels. Why does rumination feel so necessary? Because engaging with the thought briefly relieves the anxiety of leaving it unresolved. That relief teaches your brain that the thinking was important. 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Madina Alam offers virtual ERP therapy for clients in NC and NY. Book a consult today. https://video.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/f1b15411-f71f-4485-bedf-e45d217f163e/playlist.m3u8 https://video.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/f1b15411-f71f-4485-bedf-e45d217f163e/thumbnail Therapy for Anxiety & OCD (for clients) Struggling with OCD, panic, or anxiety? Madina Alam offers virtual ERP therapy for clients in NC and NY. Book a consult today. https://video.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/469ed854-b378-486a-8aa4-a038883d883b/playlist.m3u8 https://video.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/469ed854-b378-486a-8aa4-a038883d883b/thumbnail Therapy for Anxiety & OCD (for clients) Struggling with OCD, panic, or anxiety? Madina Alam offers virtual ERP therapy for clients in NC and NY. Book a consult today. https://video.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/cd6e63e8-be0d-4186-ab41-a482943621f7/playlist.m3u8 https://video.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/cd6e63e8-be0d-4186-ab41-a482943621f7/thumbnail Therapy for Anxiety & OCD (for clients) Struggling with OCD, panic, or anxiety? Madina Alam offers virtual ERP therapy for clients in NC and NY. Book a consult today. https://www.mentalhealthissexy.org/test daily 0.75 2025-12-07 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/7350188e-6476-473b-8d3f-76e21f66052e/7M1A9784.jpg https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/f7c4d65b-2a34-4b91-902a-18ba71549e51/tempImageSsMMge.jpg https://www.mentalhealthissexy.org/home daily 1.0 2026-08-02 https://www.mentalhealthissexy.org/charlotte-nc daily 0.75 2026-04-16 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/d3325bf7-fb91-4c32-b250-995b6420df76/IMG_8573.JPG Charlotte, NC Two people hugging warmly in a busy indoor setting, with people and a booth in the background. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/50dda383-f1e3-4d51-865f-b7e9bd58473c/IMG_8623+2.JPG Charlotte, NC A diverse group of people smiling and looking upwards at an event or presentation, with some wearing sweatshirts and headscarves. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/f79b4fbe-d4e5-49f7-be11-e707e35a85fa/IMG_8834.JPG Charlotte, NC Two people, a woman and a man, are standing in a modern corporate office or conference room. The woman, wearing a white blazer and dark jeans, is looking at her phone. The man, wearing a dark suit with a red tie and sneakers, is showing her something on his phone. 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The poster reads 'Making mental health sexy' and 'Creating a community where saying has you felt only drops of connection.' The man has tattoos on his arms and is smiling. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/a32e3683-d18f-4eec-865f-cee58ea5ce29/IMG_6449.JPG Charelston, SC A young woman with red hair, wearing a light blue sweater and earrings, is sitting and speaking while holding a smartphone, in a room with large windows and other people in the background. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/891545d2-acb6-438e-ae69-2c39f564c7e2/IMG_6445+2.JPG Charelston, SC A woman with long curly blonde hair, wearing a dark blue turtleneck and jeans, is sitting on a gray armchair and speaking to a group of people in a room with beige walls and large green plants. Several individuals are seated around a table, listening attentively. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/418c1600-c5bb-49e4-9608-f68f8d2c2760/IMG_6464.JPG Charelston, SC Close-up of several blue and white lollipops, some with a label that reads 'MENTAL HEALTH' and others with a label that says 'SAY HOW YOU FEEL, it's sexy,' all wrapped in clear plastic. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/8e852541-73f4-4652-94df-23716c1cdc09/IMG_6452.JPG Charelston, SC A group of people socializing in a modern, well-lit indoor space with white walls and hanging pendant lights, some standing and talking, others looking at items on a table. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/17937477-1ca9-4887-b3c4-df1ed4a567b9/IMG_6439+2.JPG Charelston, SC A group of people attending a presentation or workshop in a modern, well-lit room with plants and decorative items. Some are seated and listening, while a woman on the right is speaking or pointing at a screen. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/29305711-803e-4f01-a5cf-455150f205cb/IMG_6450.JPG Charelston, SC A woman with long blonde hair, wearing a beige oversized t-shirt and ripped jeans, sitting on a gray couch. She is holding a piece of paper and appears to be speaking in a setting with a large group of people visible through the window behind her. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/321abc68-3b19-4f53-9c2e-66fe481328bd/IMG_6451+2.JPG Charelston, SC A man and woman are smiling and hugging at a gathering or party. The man is holding a drink and has a beard, wearing a light blue shirt and khaki pants. The woman has shoulder-length hair, wearing a dark patterned jacket and scarf. They are standing in front of a table with drinks, snacks, framed pictures, and artwork on the wall. https://www.mentalhealthissexy.org/mental-health-open-mic-san-diego daily 0.75 2026-04-17 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/1cdd7ada-8af7-428e-af99-2e9ee3338ddf/Screenshot+%28142%29.png San Diego, CA https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/618cec58-120f-4705-bf77-46b5c2c91d63/Soul+Plunge+Logo+Sun.png San Diego, CA https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/133e545d-1512-4094-bf79-cb7473a7d2e7/SBStrongHorizontal.png San Diego, CA https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/98afa7ed-82e9-4572-a11d-f49d7b241c55/Screenshot+%28146%29.png San Diego, CA https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/fae07955-2b8e-46fd-af03-1922be9d723c/UnfilteredMinds_SanDiego3.jpg San Diego, CA Group of people seated indoors, smiling and looking towards a person standing near a window, with a cityscape visible outside at night. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/db2dd44c-fdec-401a-ad94-cd70499d7394/IMG_9690.JPG San Diego, CA A woman with light brown hair wears a yellow vest and white blouse, holding a microphone, seated in front of a city skyline at night. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/26919bdf-ad60-4b7e-b4b8-fe616815b9ef/UM159.jpg San Diego, CA A group of people sitting in a semi-circle in a room with modern decor, casual clothing, and a round table in the middle covered with various items including cards and snacks. The room features a distinctive wavy pink and purple headboard on the wall and soft lighting. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/d92f0dea-feca-4daa-bc42-d7179f2ea53c/UM314.jpg San Diego, CA A woman with dark hair, jewelry, and a beige top is speaking to a man wearing a beige jacket and a cap. The woman is holding a camera and appears to be engaging in conversation. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/5c9f90d2-2ec7-4996-8615-af63ea0afa79/IMG_9693.JPG San Diego, CA A man sitting indoors at night, smiling and holding a microphone, with a large window behind him that shows city lights and a parking lot outside. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/5684c864-72f3-4e5f-b392-c96a5967054a/UM611.jpg San Diego, CA Five women engaged in conversation at a social gathering. Four women are standing, facing a woman with dark curly hair tied back, wearing a sleeveless beige top and jeans. The women are holding drinks and plates, and the setting appears to be indoors with modern decor and green plants. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/6dda207b-3123-4663-9f1d-a3d4abe79843/UM429.jpg San Diego, CA A speaker sitting and holding a microphone in front of an audience during a nighttime event with a cityscape view through large windows. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/c4dee86e-b0a3-4c0f-a866-f532ac008be9/IMG_9692.JPG San Diego, CA A man with dark hair and a beard sitting on a black chair, holding a microphone in his right hand, with blurred city lights visible through large windows in the background. https://www.mentalhealthissexy.org/nashville-mental-health-community-open-mic-event daily 0.75 2026-05-07 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/9aeb0fb2-d9c5-4c09-b7a3-10c2ddd46f29/IMG_3210.PNG Nashville, TN | Unfiltered Minds Group of diverse women engaged in conversation at an indoor social gathering. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/dc9a10c2-524a-49eb-9752-ff76bf54d535/IMG_3208.PNG Nashville, TN | Unfiltered Minds A group of people sitting and standing in a brightly lit, modern room, attending a social event or presentation. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/e9c41865-01b0-489b-a9bb-d48fb451adb6/IMG_3212.PNG Nashville, TN | Unfiltered Minds A collection of handwritten notes and letters scattered on a table, with a lit candle in a decorative holder and a blue pom-pom pen. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/033fb819-1973-4447-b235-b0828826bb0e/IMG_3209.PNG Nashville, TN | Unfiltered Minds Group of diverse friends taking a selfie together at a social gathering. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/a7997fb4-4b84-4897-88e1-9484d7d70b56/IMG_3217.PNG Nashville, TN | Unfiltered Minds Two people hugging indoors, one wearing a bandana and glasses and the other with long dark hair. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/f72b4844-71af-4657-8d2e-c3d35082501c/IMG_3218.PNG Nashville, TN | Unfiltered Minds A woman in a red knit sweater is sitting at a table covered with handwritten notes, reading a note. There is a lit candle with a leopard print pattern on the table and three other people standing nearby, with only their legs visible. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/2eccbdda-2c6f-4c09-be77-49fcf3f3b7c4/IMG_3220.PNG Nashville, TN | Unfiltered Minds A man in a red shirt and jeans is sitting on a stool, playing an acoustic guitar and singing into a microphone in a room with a large window and white curtains. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/35baeb3d-e9b9-4329-a0c7-9cc10ac4c4ff/IMG_3221.PNG Nashville, TN | Unfiltered Minds Two paper bags with tissue paper inside, one says "say how you feel, it's sexy" and the other says "MENTAL HEALTH. madina PLLC" on a marble countertop with a light tile wall in the background. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/2767ef2f-de1b-49e4-9ce7-d1c36ed1787c/Front+cover+WEB_3.jpg 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https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/3ee9ec96-5ff0-412e-96e1-41049243aeea/IMG_7749.jpg https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/e8609b24-4494-4456-a2a7-f454977f1759/IMG_7772.jpg https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/969c7fd3-c3a9-4280-86f6-2915f68572f9/75.PNG https://www.mentalhealthissexy.org/charlotte-nc-community-open-mic daily 0.75 2026-06-14 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/c2bc9956-da3c-4e2f-b1db-bde11f116b0e/gh+logo.png Charlotte, NC https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/aeca960c-20cd-4f17-b8d2-e22c4a847ed6/VelaAM-NotSoBlack.png Charlotte, NC https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/52ea7c6a-6e5f-4dcb-b526-441ba71b5059/SMART+Vertical+wo-Tag+Logo.png Charlotte, NC https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/b0cbd928-08c9-4972-a150-cae4c1f512d0/candler.png Charlotte, NC https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/81e6541b-c0c2-4a5a-b3cd-83dc4c27b1bc/RICO+MARCELO+PHOTOGRAPHY+-+Black+Logo.png Charlotte, NC https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/cb98be8b-57eb-48d6-84bf-a7bf80ede2f5/unfiltered-minds-2026.JPG Charlotte, NC Madina Alam hosts unfiltered minds, a mental health open mic https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/6a90c947-bcf2-45b2-a945-f49bd2217ce0/unfiltered-minds-charlotte-2026.JPG Charlotte, NC Madina Alam hosts a mental health community open mic event https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/7b529b21-623f-4e39-8e55-4186cc6ff3d1/unfiltered-minds-charlotte-recap.JPG Charlotte, NC Madina Alam speaker, hosting a nationwide mental health open mic, community mental health event https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/3f2f472a-e4c2-474c-a76d-4503e46d2084/charlotte-mental-health-open-mic.JPG Charlotte, NC Mental Health Madina PLLC hosts unfiltered minds https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/846ab004-63f6-416b-a0db-8e7533b5aa3d/mental-health-storytelling-event.JPG Charlotte, NC Madina Alam LMHC hosting Unfiltered Minds mental health open mic tour https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/b385ae4a-3dc6-4310-80d5-ef67c8d199e6/therapy-event-charlotte-nc.JPG Charlotte, NC Madina Alam LMHC hosting Unfiltered Minds mental health open mic tour https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/65f87ac1-5595-49db-bb85-66f2338b0d8c/IMG_4200.JPG Charlotte, NC Unfiltered Minds mental health event Madina Alam mental health speaker https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/ac2b2196-5cf8-431c-9200-52f0a2839082/IMG_4204.JPG Charlotte, NC Madina Alam mental health open mic tour live event audience https://video.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/116ca808-f3ae-46ab-902f-eea671398c10/playlist.m3u8 https://video.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66df17f001dc3537221c1316/116ca808-f3ae-46ab-902f-eea671398c10/thumbnail Charlotte, NC Join us for a community open mic night in Charlotte, NC on May 5th. Share your story or just listen. 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