Why Reassurance Seeking Makes OCD and Anxiety Worse (And How to Break the Cycle)
It’s human nature to want to feel safe, especially when anxiety strikes. Whether it’s asking a loved one, Googling symptoms, or double-checking the lock for the fifth time, seeking reassurance can feel like the quickest way to quiet anxious thoughts.
But research consistently shows that this short-term relief comes at a long-term cost. Reassurance strengthens the cycle of fear, fuels OCD compulsions, and keeps anxiety alive.
In this blog, I’ll break down what reassurance seeking is, why it makes anxiety worse, how it connects to OCD, and what you can do instead.
What Is Reassurance Seeking in Anxiety and OCD?
Reassurance-seeking is the act of repeatedly asking for confirmation that things are okay. It can take many forms:
Asking someone if you’re going to be okay.
Checking online to make sure your symptoms aren’t serious.
Replaying conversations to confirm you didn’t offend someone.
Double-checking plans, routes, or safety measures.
While these behaviors often feel helpful in the moment, they reinforce the underlying belief that the feared situation is dangerous — and that you can’t cope without outside confirmation.
Why Reassurance Makes Anxiety Worse (What the Research Shows)
1. It Reinforces the Fear Cycle
A 2010 study in the Journal of Anxiety Disorders found that excessive reassurance-seeking is linked with greater anxiety severity over time. Why? Because it teaches your brain that anxiety signals danger — and that safety can only be achieved through others.
Every time you ask for reassurance and feel relief, your brain learns, “Whew, good thing I checked!” — instead of learning, “That thought wasn’t actually dangerous.”
2. It Increases Dependence on Others
Research shows that chronic reassurance-seeking undermines self-efficacy — your belief in your own ability to manage distress (Salkovskis et al., 2003). Over time, you become more reliant on others to feel okay, which creates a cycle of dependency and further anxiety when reassurance isn’t available.
3. It Prevents Habituation
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) rely on the principle of habituation— your body and mind naturally getting used to distressing thoughts or sensations over time.
Reassurance interrupts this process. Instead of allowing yourself to sit with uncertainty and learn that you can tolerate it, reassurance “resets the clock” on your anxiety, keeping it alive.
Think of it this way: your brain has a built-in thermostat. Under normal circumstances, your mind is wired to regulate itself back to balance (homeostasis). But with anxiety and OCD, reassurance-seeking interrupts that natural process. Over time, the brain starts to rely on reassurance instead of its own thermostat. That’s why resisting reassurance can feel so difficult at first– your brain is essentially learning how to switch the thermostat back on. With practice, the system resets, and your brain relearns that it can regulate without constant reassurance.
4. It Fuels Obsessive Thinking in OCD
For people with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), reassurance-seeking can act as a compulsion that maintains the disorder. According to Rachman’s (2002) cognitive model of OCD, reassurance doesn’t resolve obsessions — it fuels them. The more you check or ask, the more uncertain you feel over time.
How OCD and Anxiety Are Connected to Reassurance
Many people wonder: Are OCD and anxiety related? The answer is yes—and reassurance is one of the biggest links.
In OCD, reassurance often becomes a compulsion (checking, confessing, asking).
In generalized anxiety, reassurance maintains the worry cycle by avoiding uncertainty.
In both cases, the search for certainty makes anxiety worse.
How to Stop Reassurance Seeking in Anxiety
If reassurance isn't the answer, what is? Here are healthier, research-backed alternatives:
Tolerate uncertainty: Practice sitting with the discomfort without trying to resolve it.
Label the urge: Try saying, “This is just my anxiety looking for certainty.”
Use exposure techniques: Gradually face the fear without seeking reassurance and let your brain learn that you’re safe.
Self-reassure mindfully: Instead of asking others, try responding with self-talk that acknowledges the discomfort without feeding the fear.
Using Response Prevention Messages (RPMs)
Another powerful tool for breaking the reassurance cycle is practicing Response Prevention Messages (RPMs). These are short statements you can use when anxiety or OCD urges you to seek reassurance.
Essentially, you acknowledge that your fear might happen, but you stop yourself from going down the rabbit hole of rumination or constant checking.
Some examples include:
“I may or may not get sick from touching that.”
“I’m not sure if that will happen, but I’m choosing not to figure it out.”
“The [fear] may happen, but I trust I will be able to handle it if it does.”
“I am choosing not to figure this out right now.”
“Thinking is not problem solving.”
At first, resisting reassurance with RPMs can feel harder — that’s because your brain has been relying on reassurance for comfort. But over time, RPMs retrain your brain to tolerate uncertainty and rebuild confidence in your ability to cope.
Final Thoughts: Breaking the Reassurance Cycle
Reassurance-seeking is natural — but it’s also a trap. It feeds anxiety’s demand for certainty and trains your brain to distrust your own ability to cope.
Breaking the cycle can be uncomfortable at first, but over time, learning to sit with uncertainty builds genuine confidence and long-term relief. If you’re struggling with reassurance seeking in OCD or anxiety, ERP therapy can help. Book a 15-minute consult today to start breaking the cycle!
