Why Reassurance Makes Anxiety Worse: What the Research Says

It’s human nature to want to feel safe, especially when anxiety strikes. Whether it’s asking a loved one, Googling symptoms, or double-checking the lock for the fifth time, seeking reassurance can feel like the quickest way to quiet anxious thoughts. But research consistently shows that this short-term relief comes at a long-term cost. Reassurance-seeking, while understandable, can actually make anxiety worse.

What Is Reassurance-Seeking?

Reassurance-seeking is the act of repeatedly asking for confirmation that things are okay. It can take many forms:

• Asking someone if you’re going to be okay.

• Checking online to make sure your symptoms aren’t serious.

• Looking for proof that you didn’t offend someone.

• Double-checking plans, routes, or safety measures.

While these behaviors often feel helpful in the moment, they reinforce the underlying belief that the feared situation is dangerous — and that you can’t cope without outside confirmation.

The Research: Why Reassurance Backfires

1. It Reinforces the Fear Cycle

A 2010 study in the Journal of Anxiety Disorders found that excessive reassurance-seeking is linked with greater anxiety severity over time. Why? Because it teaches your brain that anxiety signals danger — and that safety can only be achieved through others.

Every time you ask for reassurance and feel relief, your brain learns, “Whew, good thing I checked!” — instead of learning, “That thought wasn’t actually dangerous.”

2. It Increases Dependence on Others

Research shows that chronic reassurance-seeking undermines self-efficacy — your belief in your own ability to manage distress (Salkovskis et al., 2003). Over time, you become more reliant on others to feel okay, which creates a cycle of dependency and further anxiety when reassurance isn’t available.

3. It Prevents Habituation

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) rely on the principle of habituation— your body and mind naturally getting used to distressing thoughts or sensations over time.

Reassurance interrupts this process. Instead of allowing yourself to sit with uncertainty and learn that you can tolerate it, reassurance “resets the clock” on your anxiety, keeping it alive.

4. It Fuels Obsessive Thinking

For people with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), reassurance-seeking can act as a compulsion that maintains the disorder. According to Rachman’s (2002) cognitive model of OCD, reassurance doesn’t resolve obsessions — it fuels them. The more you check or ask, the more uncertain and doubtful you feel over time.

What To Do Instead

If reassurance isn't the answer, what is? Here are healthier, research-backed alternatives:

• Tolerate uncertainty: Practice sitting with the discomfort without trying to resolve it.

• Label the urge: “This is just my anxiety looking for certainty.”

• Use exposure techniques: Gradually face the fear without seeking reassurance — and let your brain learn that you’re safe.

• Self-reassure mindfully: Instead of asking others, try responding with self-talk that acknowledges the discomfort without feeding the fear.

Final Thoughts

Reassurance-seeking is natural — but it’s also a trap. It feeds anxiety’s demand for certainty and trains your brain to distrust your own ability to cope. Breaking the cycle can be uncomfortable at first, but over time, learning to sit with uncertainty builds genuine confidence and long-term relief. The research is clear: the path to overcoming anxiety is not through certainty, but through tolerance.